Social Distance Musings – Part Deux

And don’t even get me started on the hair.

By my estimation we’re now into week 30 of this social distancing experiment. I’m not sure things will ever be the same.  For one thing, I can’t wear shoes anymore.  My feet spread out and can only be accommodated in hideously coloured crocs. Luckily they go with every outfit in my current wardrobe rotation.

I fully expect that we will have to move, as this place will no doubt need to be condemned. We don’t ever know what day it is, so we keep missing garbage pickup.  And the only thing that provided any motivation to clean was the ever present threat possibility that somebody might “stop in”.  Without that prospect lately, the reduction in housekeeping standards has been staggering.

Speaking of staggering, we drink every day now.  I think it’s fine though because every day at happy hour we ask each other if it’s weird and the answer is always no, it’s not weird, it’s fine, everyone is doing it. I’m not crying, you’re crying.

We’re living our version of “Skip the Dishes”, in that we eat everything off of paper towels or directly out of cans now. Turns out that among all the other hoaxes out there, the one where I said I would cook healthier if I had more time was a doozy.

Had a nice long weekend of wandering around on our own lawn. We saw some people drive by, so that was cool.  Plus we named all the birds at the feeder and gave them Real Housewives personas.  Rita the red winged blackbird is so “extra”,  she gives the mourning doves something to cry about.  And the cardinal pair power couple (Alexis & Blake) really need to get over themselves.  They’re very messy and the poor cleaning staff (chickadees) are working nonstop picking up after them.  And all hell broke loose when a Wood Pecker showed up and was being a real – you get it.

Working from home is going okay, although I’ve been having a bit of an issue with a co-worker. Continuous swearing, inappropriate attire with a smattering of  unwanted touching.  And then when I come into the room, it just escalates.   I’ve reported to HR but they’re “not responding”, much the same as my computer most of the time on this rural internet.

In other news, I forgot how to drive.  I’ve been watching a lot of BBC so keep getting confused about which side is mine. I feel like a failure if I have to go grocery shopping, so when I go to the store I do so hurriedly, and in a most apologetic manner.   I tried wearing a mask, but my glasses kept fogging up so I couldn’t see, and then I would bump into people who got VERY alarmed and defensive.  I had to decide whether to ditch the glasses or the mask , ended up going with the Mr. Magoo approach so bought a few things by accident but no real harm done.

This life in isolation also makes me think of those Dateline episodes where people disappear.  I picture someone in authority saying “She hasn’t used any of her bank or credit cards in weeks”, as they speculate that I could be missing or worse.  Just to be on the safe side I make occasional online purchases so the banks don’t worry.   Luckily today there’s a sale on something I need .

Stay well friends.